Dear Diary
by Silverstorm's Fury
Summary: Hermione's view, Draco's Falling. OOC to an extent in Draco's case a lot Few OC mentioned. Rated T for language and adult situations. JKR owns Harry Potter and the gang, I'm just borrowing for the sake of Fan Girls everywhere


_Dear diary, _

_I know it's such a silly thing to say. But to tell the truth I guess I'm just a silly girl after all. In one day I managed to rip the heart out of one best friend, lose the other, admit to myself (and begrudgingly others) that I was in fact in love with a fierce enemy. I never even saw it coming, I was too wrapped up in studies and trying to make everyone else happy to notice the warning signs. Now that I look back upon it, it had all started in fourth year, the Yule Ball. I had accepted Viktor Krum's request to the dance (because a certain red headed boy was too scared to ask), therefore starting a fight. _

"_your fraternizing with the enemy" he says. _

_Stupid men, but that's not the worst of it all. We get there and were instantly thrown into this elaborate dance, the champions being the first to go. I thought I was happy, for once I felt like a girl, I felt wanted, and I didn't feel I had to prove myself. I was dancing and smiling, something that doesn't come about much these days, between Harry's bad dreams, the classes, and the darker times. I stopped when my feet hurt and I was out of breath, going to the table to grab a drink. Draco was standing right there, looking at me…I don't know what I saw in his eyes that day, but it sure wasn't the normal holier-than-thou smirk. _

"_Hi Hermione" Did he really just use my name? _

_I muttered something incoherently under my breath and turned my back to him. Suddenly Pansy was whining at him to dance with her 'serves him right' I thought. Then suddenly he moves around to my other side to face me. _

"_Would you like to dance?"_

_I was speechless, then I did the unthinkable, I took his hand. Just as we got to the moshing kids a slower tune came on. I could feel the whole of the school on us in hushed whispers. We took our positions, we were so close I could feel his warm body, the touch ran shivers down my spine. I looked up into his silver eyes, mesmerized by how caring and gentle they had become. In the moment we were, so I lay my head on his chest. No one even came to cut in, though I swear I could hear Ron, and Harry curse him under their breaths. The moment was wonderful and warm, and had gone too quickly for the song had stopped and went into another jam. We parted our own ways, but not before he had kissed my cheek and whispered into my ear, "So long for now Ma Cherie". I was in a daze, feelings I have never felt, nor anything I have ever dreamt of happening. The rest of the night flew by, and by morning I had Ron and Harry fuming at breakfast about the whole thing…..that was only the beginning. _

_Now to the present, we are now in our sixth year. A lot has happened, between the prophecy, Cedric's death, and entering into a darkness we thought we knew. Sides are becoming apparent, most of the Slytherin have chose that of Voldemort. It's been about 6 months and I have found my eyes wandering over to the Slytherin table, searching for Draco. He looks tired, dark circles adorning those silver eyes, looking even more pale then I thought possible, and he looks like he has been through too much already. My heart leapt every time he would lock my gaze. And it would fall every time he would weakly smile, or fail at an insult. 'something is very wrong' I kept telling myself, but never had the guts to ask him. Until one night making my nightly Prefect rounds I heard a soft cry come from a classroom. And there he was, crying 'A Malfoy crying, I've never heard of such'. Moaning Myrtle was also there, trying to console him. Something was definitely off about the whole thing. Then I saw it, the familiar skull eating a snake that I had seen at the Quidditch World Cup. 'The Dark mark'!, and almost if I had been screaming at the top of my lungs he snapped his head to me and quickly put down his sleeve. He got up and I saw a glimpse of the deep seething anger he had been holding back all year. I flinched, I was so scared for my life I was frozen to the spot. He stalked out of the classroom towards me and rounded on me like a hippogriff on its prey. _

"_Ah Miss Granger, what a nice surprise" he drawled out, his gaze deadly, and the words dripping with venom. I could say nothing, still frozen to my spot. "Seems that the snake has got your tongue, were you spying on me for the order by chance? I might have to kill you now, you know too much." He just kept up and whispered the last part. I didn't know what to do, the only strength I had now was to fight back my tears. I dared do the only thing I could do, I kissed him, firmly grabbing his neck and holding on for dear life. He tried to fight back, tried to pry me off, but I wouldn't budge. Soon enough he started back, soon we were in a fierce kiss, a battle between good and evil, between love and hate. Our tongues entwining each other, all of our passion, and kissing like we would never be able to enjoy the flesh again. _

"_WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" We suddenly jumped back from each other, to see non other then Ron. Apparently he was making his rounds. His face rivaling that of his hair, his eyes narrowed, glinting dangerously. He swooped in and just stared as if waiting for either of us to answer. _

"_I see the knight in dingy armor came to rescue his mud-blood in distress" was all I heard, I turned so fast and punched him before he even knew what was coming. So angry with myself that I had actually fallen for him, and angry at Ron for intruding. I shot him a deadly glare before sweeping back to the common room (more like ran) with tears spilling out, and my heart breaking. As soon as I got in the portrait Harry was standing there, all he could do was hug me. I fell helplessly in his arms and didn't hold anything back. That was until Ron had come in. His face still angry, his teeth clenched. _

"_What the hell was that 'Moine? First you hook up with dunderhead Krum, and now your snogging Draco bloody Malfoy?" His voice was filled with rage, no signs of wavering. _

_Harry just let go and looked at me, his eyes wide, and frantic..full of panic like he had just ran face first into the dark lord. "Hermione?" Was all he could muster, disappointment clear in his voice and eyes. _

"_Yes, Draco bloody Malfoy, gods lock me up and throw away the key. I love him and nothing you say is going to change it nor make the pain go away." I shrieked, then ran to my room. I dove in bed, closing the curtains and cast the silence charm on my bed. I cried my eyes out till there was nothing left to give. Luckily today is a Saturday, and a Hogs mead weekend, I'm alone in the castle, alone to steep through my thoughts and feelings. I haven't eaten anything all day, its nearly lunchtime. So I will let this be my final thoughts before I go. I don't know what's going to happen from here on out. I think I have lost my only support in this place, in these times. I only hope it gets better and I can learn to live on my own._

Closing the book in my hands I lay it in my trunk and lock it away. Not exactly sure what is going on, and not quite sure I want to. So many things questioning what has happened. Why did I kiss him? Why did it feel so right, but knowing its so wrong after all the things he has done to me and my friends? Even if it were meant to be, why can't they just let me be happy for once? My head started to spin so I got dressed and made my way down to the great hall. All was quiet, only the teachers had stayed behind (Snape, Dumbledore, And Flitwick.) I walk in and nod towards them as I take my usual spot at my table. I grab a glass of Pumpkin Juice, and a couple sandwiches. Soon a shadow appeared above me.

"I was wondering if I could have a few minutes of time my lovely, after lunch of course" The familiar silky voice came behind me. Snapping my gaze up, forgetting I had food in my mouth I tried to speak. Nearly choking (and hearing the snicker come behind) I flush an unflattering shade of pink and swallow down some juice before looking up again. "and why prey tell would I want to go anywhere with an egotistical, two-faced, muggle-hating prick like yourself?" Whispering so low he had to practically be right on top of me to hear, with as much venom and danger I could muster. "I just thought you could use some company while everyone is away at Hogs mead, but suit yourself." He paused, to make it look like something caught his eye. "If you change your mind I will be in the Room of Requirements waiting for you." Saying it wistfully and sweeping out like Snape on a good day.

Against my better judgment I found myself in front of the picture of a peach arguing aloud with myself. Finally walking past three times thinking of what I needed I walked up to the peach and tickled it. The door appeared in front of my, and I walked in smoothly, like nothing had happened that night before. His bloody lip had completely gone, assuming Pomfrey had given him a potion I looked around the room. I must say it was quite cozy, two chairs in front of a roaring fire, a four post bed in the corner and a small fridge. Warily I sat down on one of the chairs. Closing my eyes for just a moment. Suddenly two hand were on my shoulders, caressing them, melting my worries away. The fiery touch sending my whole body into shock. I let out a soft moan, the hands were gone, this time there was breath on my face, opening my eyes I was staring into those beautiful silver orbs, mesmerized once again. He softly smiled before kissing me, this time gentle and with meaning, like his whole soul was pouring out of his body. Almost against my will my body willingly reciprocated, my arms snaked around his neck. Before I knew it we were lying on the bed. His arms exploring my body, trying to memorize every curve and touching so lightly my body jerked.

Soon we found ourselves with no robes, no ties, unbuttoned shirts. It was all too surreal, then I broke free of my dream, startling my body up and breaking the kiss. We were both panting heavily, looking at each other with desire, lust, passion, and love. I couldn't take it anymore, my body broke down and I was in tears. "Why…..why….what did I ever do, to have cruel jokes played on me?" I pleaded with him, I couldn't believe that he had any intentions other then humiliation in mind.

He just stared at me, taking in the sight before him. He pleaded with his eyes to listen to him. I was too broken, it was too late. "I never meant to hurt you, I love you Hermione. I don't know how I can prove that to you or anyone else. Of all people I thought you would understand. Last night….last night felt like a bad dream, the things they did to me in summer before school. I was broken and left behind, every time I saw you though…" He trailed off, choking up and the watery eyes looking down.

I looked up, he was bearing his soul, his whole life in that one kiss and I blew it. "I never meant to….I just thought….all those things you said last night, they really hurt you know?" I moved closer to him and wrapped him up in a warm embrace. I couldn't take seeing him so much like a scarred child. It broke my heart, and it broke my soul. "I'm sorry" Whispering to him over and over. Finally he looked up and managed a weak smile.

Again our lips met, what seemed like hours we stayed like that, just feeling each other, and wanting nothing else in the world. Finally we broke apart, and the clock read 7:00pm. "We better go before we miss dinner, although I am not looking forward to going back down to _'them'." Still seething over the nights events. "We will walk together, and if they don't approve, then so be it, they don't deserve to be your friends. You can just tell them to sod off." He smirked, and we got dressed and headed out. _

_Nearing the great hall I could already hear the shrieks of disgust from both sides, coming to a near halt I froze once again. "I don't think I can" I whispered. He just smiled, pulling out an elegant box, he opened it to reveal a silver ring with a small green dragon. I gasped, with wide eyes I searched his own for answers. "It's a promise ring, mum gave it to me first year, for that special someone. It's not much, but it's the best I can do right now." He took my left hand in his own, and slipped the ring on my finger. "It's beautiful." I whispered, smiling from ear to ear. He wrapped his arm around my waist and opened the doors to the great hall. _

_Everyone stood silent and looked over. No hushed whispers this time, just the deadly silence that was deafening. He planted a kiss on my cheek and winked at me. I smiled again and head over to my table. Seeing Harry and Ron for the first time in almost a day, they just stayed silent for once. More relieved that I was well. Soon they were fine and just smiled at me, the goofy grins caught by Colin's camera. We laughed harder then we had in a long time. And I knew all would be well from now on, well at least until the war came. Looking one last time at Draco he smiled a real smile, for all to see. Even through Pansy's yelling and accusations. _


End file.
